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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Obama to solve the Shidduch crisis

A shidduch is a match between a man and a woman (for those who saw Fiddler on the Roof, Yente was a shadchan - a matchmaker). The 'shidduch crisis' in the Jewish community is the number of marriageable young ladies who cannot find mates. Apparently, President Obama has now decided to solve the problem (Hat Tip: Daniel F).
After successfully solving the banking, mortgage, automobile, and housing crisis's, President Barack Obama has now turned his attention to solving the ultimate problem The Shidduch Crisis.

After much consultation with his close advisors, the president has unveiled his Kallah's [brides. CiJ] for Clunkers program. With broad bipartisan support, and modeled after the successful Cars for Clunkers program, the deal offers any married man $4500 to leave his current wife and engage a girl of at least 22 years of age. With this one bold act, thousands of young girls currently in crises mode will be taken off the market, making the even younger girls available for the just freezer-released Yeshiva bochurim [boys who study in yeshiva. CiJ].

In addition, the anticipated surge of uffrufs [celebrations the Sabbath before a man marries CiJ], weddings, and sheva brochos [celebrations the week after a couple marries. CiJ] that this initiative will cause, will hopefully jumpstart and stimulate the stagnant heimishe [our crowd. CiJ] economy, with spending on simchah [festive. CiJ] baskets, party planners, and other wasteful expenditures.

President Obama has successfully resolved a crisis that many experts have spent so many years trying to solve proving true once again his slogan - Obama: Exchange We Can Believe In!
Heh.

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