Israel Matzav

'Palestinians' to sue God over covenant with Abraham

Last week, I reported on the 'Palestinian Authority's plans to sue the United Kingdom for issuing the Balfour Declaration in 1917.

And as many of you know, the Bible says that God promised the land of Israel to the Jewish people.

So what's a 'Palestinian' to do? It's easy. They're going to sue God over His Making that covenant with Abraham.

“The God of Abraham had no right to promise this land to the Jews. Being all-knowing, He had to have foreseen that some 4,000 years later, we would suddenly decide that we have a national identity tied to this land”,  said a spokesperson for the Palestinian Authority.  The Palestinians claim that God should have known that they would seek to retroactively deny the rich and well-documented history of Jews in the land of Israel and therefore should not have promised it to Abraham and his descendants.  “Although we were living in Arabia for thousands of years after the covenant, God really should have taken us into consideration when making such promises” said the P.A. spokesperson.  We reached out to God for comment via a note in the Wailing Wall.  The Almighty issued a statement through his spokesperson, the angel Gabriel,  “Are you serious with this sh*t??? I have much more important things to worry about. There’s a war in Syria killing hundreds of thousands of people in my name, the ice caps are melting, and I’m trying to figure out how to stop the bees from dying off so you guys don’t starve to death.  I don’t have time for this nonsense.”

The Palestinians assert that time is a construct invented by God, and he is simply avoiding having to address the issue.  An archangel, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that God is indeed worried about the lawsuit since there are no good lawyers in heaven.  “All of the most cutthroat and lawyers are either in the U.S. Government or in Hell, so God is really at a loss here.  He won’t say it publicly, but he’s scared.”

Heh.

Labels: Abu Mazen, Balfour Declaration, God, humor, Palestinian people, Torah

posted by Carl in Jerusalem @ 4:20 PM