Israel Matzav

Test-launch of Iranian anti-ship missile?

Today a test launch of the latest Iranian anti-ship missile was demonstrated to the world press in the form of a deadly salvo of 10 missiles from one launch vehicle. The new missile called 'Al ha abid' meaning 'Glorious tendon of the arm of a war camel' is a completely new and 100% Iranian design, built in Iran by Iranian Experts. The target for today's test was a commercial freighter filled with confiscated illegal contraband. The items all being impounded by the brave Iranian elite customs units, included such evil devices as record players, microwave ovens and gay porn mags. Iranian Experts were on hand to disclose some fascinating details regarding the new weapon. Range of the missile is 'unlimited', this is due to a special fin added by the Iranian experts that reduces air friction to a negative value thus eliminating the need for fuel. To demonstrate this the missiles first flew around the world before hitting the target ship anchored 21 miles off shore. The missiles are so fast they achieved this monumental and slightly unbelievable task in the same time that a normal missile would have if it flew direct. Guidance for the missile is provided by a clever new optical device invented by the Iranian experts called V.I.D.E.O. (Variable,Imaginary,Disco,Elastic,Oreally), this system is 108% Iranian designed and manufactured and has the ability to place the missile anywhere within the area directly in front of it. Payload for the missile can be conventional explosives or a secret mixture of glue and pages of the Koran, this latter payload is intended to perform mass conversions of the infidel enemy personnel by exposing them to the true religion of Islam. The salvo of 10 missiles were fired by a new and 100% not copied launch vehicle in rapid succession, that, on video looks like cut scenes added together from differing angles. Brave and glorious elite Revolutionary Guards were on hand to assure us that the 10 launch salvo was genuine and that any reporters suggesting only one missile was launched would be 'very silly'. Iranian experts say that by next Tuesday they will have manufactured 22,000 missiles in their new high tech automated facility, designed by the Iranian experts. Military officials say they can sink all shipping in the gulf within 4 minutes of an illegal and un-provoked attack on Iran by the Evil USA or Israel and within 2 hours if the attack is legal and provoked.

posted by Carl in Jerusalem @ 6:33 PM