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Friday, December 15, 2006

The Baker 'cure'

This biting and witty article by Julia Gorin is a must read:
After several weeks, the much talked-about Iraq Study Group--tasked with finding a solution to the Iraq problem--announced its proposal, conceived mainly by former Secretary of State James Baker: The way to fix Iraq is for Israel to withdraw from the West Bank and Golan Heights.

The proposal is titled “F--k the Jews. They don’t vote for us anyway.”

Jimmy Carter was seen slapping his forehead and saying, “D’oh! Why didn’t I hire that guy?!”

Even as I’ve kvelled over the past six years of the Bush administration’s almost unprecedented Israel-friendly disposition, I’ve whispered to friends, “Wouldn’t it be ironic if it all ended up just setting us up for the biggest betrayal of Israel yet?” I of course shunned the possibility.

Until James Baker was exhumed.

Not knowing where Baker stood on Jews or Israel, I’d given him the benefit of the doubt in the 80s when he made the famous quote, thinking he was just talking in shorthand and in private to someone worried about getting the Jewish vote. But apparently, “f--k the Jews” means “f--k the Jews.” (Now if only we could believe the Muslims when they say it about all of us.)


Indeed, think of all the problems that could be solved if only Israel pulled out of Israel. First, there's global warming: just one year after Israel pulled out of Gaza, the UN itself has found that man has a whopping 25% less impact on climate change than we thought. This means that if Israel would just give up the Golan Heights, we could cure AIDS, and if it gave away half of Jerusalem, then poverty wouldn't be an issue anymore. Granting Palestinians the right of return, also mentioned in the ISG report, could end crime, and of course ceding the West Bank would not only solve world hunger but would also put a stop to the accusations about Jews running all the banks.
Read the whole thing.


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