Israel Matzav

MHNN (New York)- Correspondents for the Mental Health News Network (MHNN) were present for the inaugural session of Dr Sanity’s group therapy session of dysfunctional Arab leaders. The author of Carnival of the Insanities, Patrica M Santy (PMS), is a former NASA organic waste in space disposal specialist. She is the first western trained mental health specialist to attempt to deal with the world renowned dysfunction of Arab leader outside Quranic Psychiatric Guidelines.

In an effort to protect patient confidentiality and patient rights, MHNN will not directly identify the Arab and Middle Eastern leaders of the group by name.

Unidentified Leader from Iran: Hello, my name is___ and I’m the dysfunctional leader from Iran.

PMS: Shut up. We know who you are. How many 5 foot 2 inch leaders do think there are in the Middle East. No one is going to mistake you for John Wayne.

Unidentified Leader from Syria: Hi! Guess what! I’m a doctor too and I went to a real medical school in the west. We have a lot in common!

PMS: Listen up you quack, you don’t practice medicine. You practice oppression. And get rid the mustache. No amount of facial hair is going to make you look more manly. You look like a dork.

Unidentified Leader from Palestine: Are you a Jew? Are you going to poison us with a secret toxin that works on Arabs and Muslims only, that would render us impotent, ridden with AIDS and mentally deficient?

PMS: Yes.

Other Unidentified Leader from Palestine: Will you recommend that America and Israel send us money and aid so that we might establish our own dysfunctional state? We so much want to establish ourselves in the region as viable Arab nation.

Unintelligible yelling

PMS: All of you, shut up- you’ll each have your chance to make fools of yourselves. Now, listen up Other Unidentified Leader from Palestine. Are you out of your mind? Do you seriously believe that I would encourage your parade of dysfunctional behaviors? And why on earth would you want to join the club of these lunatics?